Well, I did it. Not exactly Morocco-bound. More like staring at the airplane in hesitation or perhaps crying in the bathroom stall but either way, what’s done is done.
The really sad part is that it’s never going to be what it was. And let me tell you, it was amazing. It was beautiful flowers on a second month anniversary, skipping work to go to the park, ice skating in Bryant Park… it was the most romantic love story. So romantic that I often questioned whether or not it was real. I guess it wasn’t.
Moving from the sad part to the IMPORTANT part. There is a sense of clarity that I haven’t felt in many many months. I thought it was sleep deprivation or stress when really my emotions were all mixed up. I am not a feminist but I do believe that if a boy makes you cry, he is not worth it. And boy did this boy make me cry. Crying at work. Crying at the bar. Crying on the floor of my friend’s apartment at a party. What? Can you say not-hot mess? So, for all of you gals who believe that your relationship or your oh-so-intense love for the most WONDERFUL man you’ve ever met is worth all the sleepness nights, anxiety, insecurity… it’s not. There are so many wonderful people out there! Not necessarily to date but just to meet. And all that time you’re spending sitting in bed, with your girl friends holding out tissues and various alcoholic beverages/baked goods for you to ease the pain, is time you’re not out living your life. Because in the end, if you waste any more time on this silly little man, you’ll miss your flight to Morocco.
Bon voyage mes amis! I’m boarding the plane.