Day 3

Anxiety.  Anxious in the morning and near the end of the day, anxious again.

Holly Golightly would have described it as “the mean reds”.

“Listen…you know those days when you get the mean reds?” –Holly.
“The mean reds? You mean like the blues?” –Fred (Paul).
“No… the blues are because you’re getting fat or because it’s been raining too long. You’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?” –Holly.

Yes, it was the mean reds but I also had a good idea of what I was afraid of.  Being alone, never being loved again, and perhaps never getting over him.   So, while I did spend half an hour crying on the floor of my friend’s office this morning, I feel like it ended up not too terribly.  Granted, it’s 2:30 AM and I’m still awake but I don’t feel as anxious.  Well, maybe a little tipsy.  Nothing like some chocolate chocolate chip ice cream before bed and having the best girl friend to support you.  Thank you, Holly.

Apparently, anxiety before bed is not uncommon in the city.  We’re all so worried about the next day that we don’t get any sleep.  And guess what, you can’t function that well when you don’t sleep.  It’s counterproductive really.  New York City is the city that never sleeps but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get some shut eye.  We find peace in sleep, answers in our dream.  I believe it leads us to our innermost thoughts.

So, good night moon, good night Cat, good night Holly.

Mag

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