No romance in France

Mes chers amis,

2011 has pretty much been yangst-free. Sauf Ms. Holly Golightly who was in CAIRO for 2 weeks, so close to the riots they were actually taking place right outside of her hotel window. But I’m sure she’ll be putting those pictures up soon.

As for me, I quit my job, went to Grand Cayman for a week and am now living with and tutoring English to a family in Provence. And though I am miles away from NYC and totally disconnected from American culture (I didn’t even watch the Super Bowl!), Valentines Day is unfortunately not exclusive to our dear old US of A. There are pink hearts in the cafes in France. BARF. Why oh why can’t I just escape this terrible holiday? I counted on my fingers…8. It’s been 8 years since I was single for Valentines Day. I think that may indicate a problem of sorts? L says that I’m “a serial monogamist”. Call it what you will, I’m single now. And let it be known that I don’t hate Valentines Day because I’m single. I’ve always thought it to be a sucky holiday. Because when you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t need a special day to show your affection. Plus, the gifts you receive aren’t even special or creative. EVERYONE is doing the same ish – flowers, candy, stuffed animals, candlelit dinners. Ex-Boyfriend and I decided last year that we wouldn’t do dinner next year for V-Day. We were right! (because we’re not dating anymore…). But I digress. So the holiday is pointless when you’re in a relationship. Most people don’t even know who Saint Valentine was. And it just plain sucks when you’re single because, as stated previously, EVERYONE is doing the same ish and all of a sudden it feels like you’re the only single gal out there.

Which brings me to my next topic. People are always telling me that it should be so easy for me to find someone. “You’re pretty, you’re smart and you live in NYC! There are so many people there!” Yeah, well guess what they all suck. And though for the most part I agree with this article in the Village Voice, it is only partially correct. Yes, women in NYC have high standards and some don’t know what they want but come on, the men actually do suck. The fact that one guy says that it’s partially women’s fault because they make it too easy… well guess what, that makes you a pig. And also, I don’t want to wait until you’re 34 for you to grow up. My biological clock is ticking. But I get it, that’s just how the cookie crumbles. Regardless, it’s a very interesting read. So you should read it.

Come Monday, on that oh-so-not-special-holiday, and though I will be in ze romantic France (oh la la!), you will not find me with a man of any sort (except for the adorable 4 yr old boy I live with). I am going to take myself to a cafe and get a big ole’ croissant. And then maybe a chocolate croissant. And a baguette. And some cheese. And some tartines… And then I’m going to read and enjoy this time to myself and reflect on what I found to be the best part of the article:

“Every guy has his purpose. There’s the guy who takes you great places, the guy you’re sleeping with, etc. If you’re enjoying yourself, and if you do it in the right way, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

And so, the wild and crazy kisser who actually broke your front tooth, which then required dental work; the guy who taught you to always ask for Sriracha in your deviled eggs; the man who introduced you to Wolf Parade; the man who introduced you to really good bourbon; the guy with kids who helped you remember why you do, or don’t, want them for yourself; the bisexual co-worker; the “poonhound”; the one that got away; and the one you let get away on purpose—they all have a place in your dating life. Don’t regret them.”

I still say, keep your standards high ladies. Know who you are, what you want, and don’t you dare settle. You can’t grow old with an asshole. Just be realistic and you’ll be just fine.

A bien-tôt!




Filed under New York City

3 responses to “No romance in France

  1. L

    M love,

    I ALSO hate Valentine’s Day. This is only my second year ever being in a relationship on it, but it’s a silly Hallmark holiday. The only upside is that it gives me a chance to express my love and appreciation for ALL the people in my life, not just the one I happen to be dating. So, for example, I love you! And I miss you and I hope you have a wonderful, croissant-and-cafe-filled Monday.


  2. LAH

    Completely jealous of all the pastries you get to eat right now, Valentine’s or not. I’d just like to say that I*LOVE* Valentine’s Day, and while I admit that much of that love probably comes from the fact that I’ve had the same Valentine since I was 12, I think I also just enjoy it bc it’s a day when you get to wear pink and eat candy and tell your family/friends how much you love them. Sure, it’s cheesy, and Hallmark-fueled, and absolutely arbitrary, but why not just relax and enjoy the saccharin for a day? There’s so much negativity and cynicism out there, I personally love the excuse to be a little gooey for at least one day.

    Gros bisous,

  3. brightbrowneyedgirl

    A friend once told me, “You have to hold out for the perfect person for you. Too many people settle.”

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