Wake up call

Every once in a while, something happens that just makes you snap the hell out of it. Sometimes, it’s some kind of life-changing event. Or other times, it’s your friend who very bluntly tells you to wake up and move on. Or, it’s realizing that it’s 3 AM and you’re crying on the bathroom floor (again) and drunk dialing your best friend (again), except this time, there’s a 12 hr time difference because you’re in China and she’s in NY…

Gosh darn it.

It seems as if after all my soul-searching in Europe, all it really took to send me over the edge, into I-want-a-boyfriend-Land, was some nagging on the part of my family. I could put up with it back in NY. With my mom going on and on about how I wasn’t getting any younger and my dad rolling his eyes next her, the you-need-a-boyfriend converstaion in my parents’ dining room was actually pretty comical. But not anymore.

Here’s the lowdown: My buddy from high school, let’s just call him Eligible  and Compatible Bachelor (“ECB”), decided to visit me in China. We’ve been really close friends since high school, with the exception of senior year when we got into a huge fight over prom, but whatever, water under the bridge now. So of course, I was excited when ECB told me that yes, he will actually visit me in China – 10 days, it’ll be great. Did I think that it would be more than a platonic visit? Eh, a naggy little voice (which sounds very much like my aunt’s) said that it was a possibility. After all, we often joke about how we’re gonna get married etc etc.

ECB knows me pretty well but the poor thing had yet to see me in a bad mood. And boy was I in a bad mood the 3rd day he was here. My parents were calling me from the States, asking about him, whether or not he would make a good husband. HELLO? EXCUSE ME? We’re not even dating. Then the nagging became so overwhelming that I finally snapped. I began thinking, well what if they’re right. What if this is it? I’m not getting any younger, you’re right Mother. He’s eligible and compatible, I should probably lock it down now. So began the start of a 3 day funk, when I started lamenting the loss of Ex-Boyfriend and my loneliness blah blah blah cry me a river and hand me a razor. EMO.

Thank goodness for ECB because that boy did not spare me. ECB called me out on my depressing behavior and just let me have it and you know what, he was so right. 2 years ago, he was just like me, so sad and depressed over his last girlfriend. All he wanted to do was get over it, move on but he couldn’t because he kept on talking about it. And so he told me, you just gotta shut up and do it. Don’t talk about where you’ll be working in 5 years or when you’ll meet Mr. Right. Stop making all these plans. Planning doesn’t get you nearly as far as doing.

ECB had a great point. So apparently, does Nike. Just do it.

But honestly, it’s more easily said than done. Case in point, our trip to Shanghai last weekend. It’s a great city really – a combination of New York, Beijing, and Europe. Truly something special (pictures to come later). The nightlife is great too, lots of bars, clubs and oh blubs (bar clubs). Things were going quite well until yours truly had one too many drinks and the next thing you know, I’m sobbing and asking to talk to my best friend, L. ECB, being the great friend he is, calls up L, long-distance, on his iphone. I proceed to lock myself in the bathroom and cry to L about how I can’t believe I’m still crying over Ex-Boyfriend after ALL. THESE. MONTHS. UGH! I’m actually just sick of it.

So, the wake up call was more a drunk dial. It’s been almost a year since Ex-Boyfriend and I broke up and I’m still crying about it? ECB said, the only way to get over it is to get over it. Let go 100%. And I guess I’ve still been holding on just a tiny bit so it’s time to make the final move and just freakin’ do it.

I wanted to share this with you because these past 10 days with ECB made me realize how often we talk about doing something and how little time we spend actually doing it. Instead of telling everyone about your new healthy diet, just do it. Stop whining about needing a vacation. Just book that flight to Hawaii. Actions speak louder than words and results are even louder. We can’t spend our lives looking nostalgically at the past nor can we spend all day looking forward to the future.

So heed the call, live in the now and most of all,  just freaking do it.

– Mag

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Filed under New York City, Relationships, Travel

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