Category Archives: New York City

Happy First Snow!

It’s officially Winter. I’ve got pearls on, I busted out the peacoat, oh and there’s a crap ton of snow outside!

I love the snow. I don’t like shoveling it and I sure as hell don’t like how it delays my train but it’s so beautiful. It’s just a white blanket that covers the city and makes it clean and pure for a little… until it all turns to yucky muck. But I think it’s best to focus on that short amount of time when thing’s are great.

And I apply that same concept to how I approach life. Why focus on the terrible things? Right now, I have about 80 pages to read before Monday and a memo due by 5 PM tomorrow. There are no trains running from the burbs to the city so I’m missing about 4 parties and Israeli guy and I just ended things due to being in “different places in our lives”. But it’s also my daddy’s birthday! And I just made a delicious apple cake (recipe to come later)! And I have the best family ever. So at the end of the day, I win.

Now go play in the snow New York!

Leave a comment

Filed under Food, New York City, Relationships

The suits

Last weekend I watched an acquaintance’s  apartment while she was at work so she could finally get internet and cable installed. Her living quarters are what one might call… SUPER EFFING AWESOME OMG I WANT IT!

Sorry for that spasmtic bit of enthusiasm there. Essentially, her apartment was gorgeous. It had a full kitchen with a huge oven, fully stocked pantry (with my favorite chips!), a huge balcony overlooking the Hudson River and very well stocked liquor cabinet. The good news is that on top of all of that I got paid. And was able to spend some quality time with the Israeli Guy (although he showed up in… dare I say it? jorts. Yeah, what?).

The bad news? While I was enjoying myself, stuffing my face with cheese and crackers, sipping on some nice sauvignon blanc and gazing at the Hudson, I spilled wine on my laptop. Just fyi, that’s how my last laptop died. However, after letting it dry for a week, it’s good as new (I think) so no worries!

But, moving on to the substantive content. I did an amazing amount of travel that week. And by travel I mean, leaving the Village which is something I rarely do. Ever. Riding the subway during work hours served as a reminder of my old life and my future life. I watched the Suits get on the subway, I watched them get off the subway. I watched their eyes glaze over the other Suits, crinkle at non-Suits, and sometimes, open and close in exhaustion. I eyed the cute 20-somethings with interest while pitying the graying 40-somethings. All the while, I asked myself – Do I really want to go back to this?

I am truly happiest when I’m cooking although that is not to say that I don’t enjoy law school. I love being surrounded by so many smart people and being able to interact with them. The readings are stimulating. The opportunities are amazing. The work… sucks. And the future work will probably suck as well. Am I suffering a quarter-life crisis? I must say it’s not just me. Most of my friends at school seem to ask themselves on a daily basis, “Why am I doing this?”. So, why are we doing this?

I’m afraid the answer seems to be that we can make a lot of money in the future. Being a lawyer is prestigious. I don’t know what else to do! Are any of these good answers?

The girl I housesat for just graduated from Yale Law School. She gave me an extra set of keys to her place. You know why? She says she’s never there, she’s always at work so she wants someone to enjoy it since she can’t. Is that going to be me in three years?

Struggle. I wonder what Audrey would do in this situation. Would she soldier on knowing that not everything is easy and that hard work (and certainly work we don’t want to do) is necessary sometimes? Or would she say, go to culinary school in Paris. Open up a Bed and Breakfast.

I’m not quite sure but I know one thing for certain – she would definitely stop whining about it.

Leave a comment

Filed under New York City

Shana Tova – another chance

Thursday was Rosh Hashanah and being the good non-Jew, aspiring-Jew that I am, I went to services with my roommate and friend Wednesday night. As per usual, I tried to take the sermon to heart but became quickly sidetracked as we started downing drinks and Indian food at a BYOB restaurant for our Rosh Hashanah feast. I wonder, in hindsight, how is it possible that we are given so many opportunities to begin anew and continuously waste them year after year, time after time?

Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year. That’ll make 3 new years I’ve celebrated this year – New Year (January 1st), Chinese New Year, and Rosh Hashanah. These holidays are starting to remind of the Monday Dieter. You know, the person who binges during the week and then proclaims that their diet starts on Monday? Why is it so hard to actually take ourselves seriously? Is it because there’s nothing or no one holding us accountable?

So far, I haven’t done anything differently. Since Thursday I have:

  • Ordered 6 lbs of chocolate chips
  • Spent almost every night with Israeli guy aka Mr. Right Now
  • Gotten obnoxiously drunk
  • Spilt wine on my laptop, subsequently breaking it

That’s just dandy, isn’t it? I think that we’ve all gotten extremely good at not holding ourselves accountable for our own actions. My dad has always said, it’s easy to control someone else, what’s difficult is controlling yourself. It’s a twisted statement but there’s so much truth to it. It’s because saying something (don’t eat that!) is so much easier than doing something (I’m going to put the cookie down).

I once read somewhere that sometimes, the key to accomplishing a goal is to not talk about it. When you talk about it, you start to feel accomplished too soon. When your friends and family (and even strangers) are like, wow, that’s so cool that you’re running every day, you get that ego boost and then don’t actually strive as hard (or at all) to accomplish it. Because, why put in the effort if people already think you’re awesome?

I’m gonna try something for the next two weeks. I’m not going to talk about how I’m trying to eat healthy, go to sleep earlier, drink less and be more productive. I’m just going to do it. I’m holding myself accountable. Well, the entire internet is too but that’s just a technicality. Anyone else willing to give it a shot?

Shana Tova friends, let’s make this one count.

Mag

BYOB Indian Restaurant (Panna II)

Leave a comment

Filed under New York City

The best chocolate cookies you will ever make (eat)

I’m officially one month into school and am quite relieved to say that I’m finally getting back into the swing of things. I seriously forgot how time-consuming (and occasionally, extremely boring) classes and homework and TA sessions were. And on top of that, there are club meetings, trainings, and this thing called LIFE that all need to be attended to as well. It’s crazy! Who has time for all of that?

And then there’s the problem of the Random Guys I’ve Met Abroad. Yes, there are multiple. It’s hilariously ironic because I left the country to get rid of boys/boys who think they’re men/boys who acknowledge they’re boys and I still managed to get entangled in several random affairs abroad. There’s the guy from Florida who I met in Hong Kong (aka I’m Too Grown Up for My Own Good) who just came to NY to visit. He claims it wasn’t to visit me but threw a hissy fit when I could only spend a few hrs with him BECAUSE I HAD 40 pages of Contracts reading to do. Plus he was SO SERIOUS. I liked it at first (OMG he’s so mature!) but then I just realized that he was no fun. So, next.

And then there’s the Israeli I met in Beijing. he’s the Right Now Guy. As in, I’ve seen him every weekend the past 2 weeks and he’ll be back in NY for Rosh Hashanah this weekend. Relationship? I don’t think so. Fun? Yeah! Plus, he doesn’t complain and whine about my time commitments.

Of course there are other randoms (as there always are in NYC) but we return to the original point. COOKIES! I went to an Environmental Law Society meeting and had the most delicious cookies. They were soooo chocolatey and gooey and just yummy yummy in my tummy. So I tracked down the girl who made them and she told me they were Martha Stewart’s Double Chocolate Chunk Cookies. The girl was vegan and substituted the eggs with avocados and apparently it makes them even gooier but I made mine the omnivore way and used eggs and they were still super moist and delicious.

Recipe is linked but I’m also pasting it below. Just a warning though – these are RICH. I’ve been baking every Sunday and hosting study breaks and noticed that all the girls had at least 5 helpings of these cookies while the guys could only handle 2 tops. I guess we really do like chocolate more. Also, using good milk chocolate is very important. I had some leftover chocolate from Switzerland and used that.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 8 ounces good-quality milk chocolate, 4 ounces coarsely chopped, 4 ounces cut into 1/4-inch chunks
  • 1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Directions:
  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl; set aside. Melt coarsely chopped chocolate with the butter in a small heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water.
  2. Transfer chocolate mixture to the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Add sugar, eggs, and vanilla; mix on medium speed until combined. Reduce speed to low; gradually mix in flour mixture. Fold in chocolate chunks.
  3. Scoop batter using a 1 1/2-inch ice cream scoop; place 2 inches apart on parchment-lined baking sheets. Bake until cookies are flat and surfaces begin to crack, about 15 minutes. Transfer on parchment to wire racks. Let cool 5 minutes. Cookies can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days.

One lonely cookie

Result: Over 3 dozen made Sunday night. One left come monday afternoon.

Leave a comment

Filed under New York City

Andddd we’re back

Hello New York, Mag is back!

After taking a 3 month hiatus from writing, we are back in business. The past few months have brought quite a good amount of changes. While Holly moved out of our lovely apartment in the city, I have moved back into the city after my travels abroad. And although I will miss the smell of freshly made baguettes in France and the sound of the ever-constant construction in Beijing, it is good to be in the city again.

They say that all good things must come to an end but (from a legal standpoint), that doesn’t necessarily imply that the next thing coming has to be bad. It’s just going to be different. Do I wish I were still traveling abroad instead of briefing cases on negligence at midnight? Yes. Do I feel a little sad when I’m walking home from the law library, carrying 3 casebooks under my arm while enviously observing slightly overage women and random hipster or banker boys frolicking in front of my apartment? Yes. But do I regret moving on to this new chapter in my life? Absolutely not.

Your journey in life is almost like exploring a gigantic mansion. There’s this great scene in Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, where the 4 sisters are reminded by their mother of Pilgrim’s passage, a game they would play when they were little. They would explore throughout the house, encountering all kinds of dilemmas but when they finally reached the roof, they would shed their burdens. We go into every room in this big house of life to explore, to learn, to experience new things and then we leave the room because there are so many other rooms to explore, so many new things to discover and most of all, we need to keep on moving up, up, and up until we reach the tip top of the house.

xo from NYC,

Mag

Nothing prettier than this.

Leave a comment

Filed under New York City, Travel

Do you need that spark?

L and I have had many conversations about passion and stability. Are they incompatible? Can you only have one or the other? And if so, which one is better? I think I’ve experienced both. I’ve had super passionate relationships, like Ex-Boyfriend, which were so unstable, like a volatile chemical ready to BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE. And then I’ve had relationships which started out passionate and by the time they stabilized, became extremely passionless and more or less, boring. Can it be that when you feel so passionately about something/someone, the overdose of dopamine and serotonin in your brain incapacitate you and prevent you from thinking logically enough to have a stable relationship? Honestly, I’m not totally sure, but I’m leaning towards yes. To all of the above questions. Someone correct me though.

Now, that is not to say that people who have stable relationships have boring relationships. Take my friend Lauren for example. Not only does she make a mean red velvet cake with the BEST cream cheese frosting, but she is also getting married in August. I would definitely say that her relationship is very stable. I mean, they are so great together and they are also very, VERY happy together. I would use the word content, not in a settling kind of way, but more like at peace, like everything is just right. So, we’ve established, they’re happy. They’re stable. But you know what, they’re not passionately crazy about each other. I mean, they’re busy people. If she has class and he’s working late, they’re not going to pull an all-nighter to spend time together. Which is good, that is where you want to be eventually in a relationship.

BUT, what if you skip the crazy passionate phase of your relationship? I’m sure Lauren and her fiancé experienced that spark but what if you never do? And it just goes right away into stable? I ask because a good friend of mine – let’s call her Successful Sister – is pondering the same question. She’s been running and working out with the same guy at her gym for months now. To quote her, “there is definitely chemistry but no spark”. She says they’re compatible and she can see them together but she’s worried about the spark. Or lack thereof. I mean, she’d essentially be skipping 3-6 months of the relationship (after which, the dopamine and serotonin levels drop back to normal and you realize that the way he eats drives you nuts and his friends are all total assholes and he thinks his band is more important than your relationship and… wait. my bad.) and jumping right into stability. However, here’s another thing to consider. She’s in her 30s. People in their 30s are supposed to be mature. Maybe they’re allowed to skip the crazy spark-passion? And another thing to consider, think of the older generations. I mean, when parents still helped you pick out your husband. I don’t know if they were happier but their divorce rates were definitely lower.

I’m not saying we should go back to 1870 when my dad would find me a suitor. I’m saying that it’s happened and it’s worked out before. Successful Sister doesn’t need to settle and honestly, I don’t think she would be. But I think she does need to take it for what it is and accept it. She shouldn’t drudgingly go into this because she feels like she has no other options. She should date this guy because she likes him enough to do so. Maybe there’s no spark, but like she said, there’s chemistry. And let me tell you, what I remember from 10th grade chemistry is that sometimes, reactions take time. Sometimes, you’re friends first and then there’s a spark. Other times, it’s like love (read: lust) at first sight. Maybe it’ll just take a little while longer for Successful Sister. I mean, after all, they’ve never hung out outside of the gym. I think, you give them both a glass of wine and sparks will fly. After all, alcohol is highly flammable.

– Mag

3 Comments

Filed under New York City, Relationships

Why I miss New York

I love traveling. It’s awesome. I meet new people (like that gorgeous French model on the train to Geneva), experience new things (singing Communist songs with my coworkers to commemorate the 90th anniversary of the founding of the Communist Party in China), and of course, eating great food (cheese and chocolate.period.). However, with exactly one month to go until I return to the US of A for good, I find myself becoming increasingly homesick as opposed to taking advantage of the remaining time I have abroad. I know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know I should be learning, living, experiencing. I know that stuff just like I know that walking into a Junior’s is committing diet-suicide via Strawberry Cheesecake. But knowing and actually acting on that knowledge are two different things. I’m trying right now, I really am. But honestly, after reading this piece in the Village Voice, how can I not miss New York?

In my last post, I welcomed summer. I think that regardless of where you are, summer is great. Although, I WISH I were in New York to greet the summer. Out of the 33 reasons listed in the Village article, I agree with… all of them. New York in the summer is relaxing, wild, hot as hell on a crowded subway platform and amazingly comfortable in your favorite restaurant. It’s the best time for bad decisions because it’s almost like, summer is an excuse for… whatever. “Oh, yeah I slept with that guy last summer but you know, it was the summer”. Yes, yes. Completely understandable.

Also, rooftop bars. The ice cream truck. FLIP FLOPS! And lots of ice cold beer. As my girlfriend from Houston would say, WANT!

Yes, I’ve got one month left abroad and I promise dear parents that I will make the most of this last month. I will soak up the culture! I will try it all! And then I will go back to my beautiful Empire State and hit up the Hamptons with ECB and catch up on all the dreadful rom-coms I’ve been missing with my girls.

Missing you,

Mag

Leave a comment

Filed under New York City

Happy June!

So I may be a few days late in wishing y’all a happy June but I truly believe that it’s better late than never. Happy June! I’m not sure what the weather is like in dear ol’ New York (which I miss TERRIBLY) but it is hot hot HOT in Beijing. And dry. Uncomfortably so. And when it’s not dry, it’s as muggy as the swamps of Houston. All in all, the weather in the Middle Kingdom at the beginning of summer is no reason for celebration. However, what a new season does bring is, new food!

The average American tends to forget that produce has seasons. We can find fruits and vegetables no matter what time of year because we import so much of it. However, the rest of the world is not like us. Take Germany for example. I happened to arrive in Munich just in time for asparagus season. White asparagus, to be correct. That stuff was everywhere! It seemed to be the only thing they were selling – spargel, spargel, spargel. In China, it seems to be the same way. Even when we eat out, my relatives will say, oh we’ll order this dish because leeks are in season but not this one because spinach is not in season. All of sudden, fruit stands are overflowing with sweet, tangy cherries and vendors on every corner are selling corn-on-the-cob. My friends, it is officially summer.

Of course thinking of fresh produce can only make a person do one thing – look at recipes. I mean, that’s normal right? So I spent this entire morning, going on afternoon, pouring over various food blogs I haven’t visited in quite some time and then I decided that I needed a cake stand. So now I’m all over the internet searching (yet again) for the perfect cake stand. Which also makes me want to buy the yogurt machine I’ve been dying to get. And some mason jars to use for homemade jam. Oh online shopping and my obsession with cookware, how you seduce so. But considering the many weddings I shall attend this summer, maybe I will be strong and save my  money to buy my lovely friends (and their soon-to-be husbands) more awesome wedding gifts rather than buying more cookware than my NYC dorm apartment can hold.

Another thing about summer is that it makes me sleepy. All I want to do is sleep because it is so unbearably hot. Of course, I think I say the same thing about winter except that it’s so unbearably cold – all I want to do is snuggle back in my bed and sleep. But lucky me, I work at a public corporation in China where napping after lunch is not only accepted, but actually encouraged. Ah how refreshing it is to wake up after a 15 or 20 minute nap, ready to blog work! It’s really quite adorable, walking around at 1 PM and seeing all the middle aged men and women napping in their cubicles. Some have pillows that they put on their desks, others scooch down on their chairs and rest their heads back. Some people even snore. No matter how you do it, it’s great. Napping = 100% satisfaction. I may not have facebook in China but I’ll trade it for napping.

One of the drawbacks of summer: I feel terrible turning on my oven to bake. Here I am, running my air conditioning, adding to the already growing carbon emission, and then I turn on a HOT oven in my COOL house? It just sounds ever so wasteful. I would like to draw your attention to this article. I found it to be quite scary not only because of its implications but mostly because its so true. Did you know that we are one of the only countries that uses a dryer? Yes, it’s convenient and I agree nothing feels as good as pulling out a fluffy warm towel fresh from the dryer but is it really necessary? I’ve visited many countries now and no one but us uses a dryer. They get by. Now, I’m not going to spend this post ranting on about global warming but I do think that it’s a good idea to think about our actions. We often think that we are just one person, it’s just one can we’re not recycling, one additional car on the road but it really DOES matter. I could do a bunch of research and list some numbers but I don’t feel like it. I think that all you need to do is think logically. Of course what we do matters. You think that can just magically disappears? (The answer’s no)

So I am going to do two things this summer. Well, I’m going to do many things but I will work on two projects when I get home. I am going to buy some clothes pins and set up a neat little system to dry my clothes outside (at my parents’ house, where I’ll be staying this summer). In addition, I am going to build a compost bin. Yes, I am going to use a hammer and build something using wood! Or maybe I’ll just go to Home Depot and buy one. But either way, by the end of the summer, I will have these two projects complete.  And I hope that through my actions, I will make the world a better place. Even if it’s just a little bit because we all know, a little bit does count. After all, isn’t it a straw that breaks the camel’s back? No one ever says, it was the 20 pound dumbbell that broke the camel’s back. Right?

– Mag

Leave a comment

Filed under Food, New York City, Travel

Wake up call

Every once in a while, something happens that just makes you snap the hell out of it. Sometimes, it’s some kind of life-changing event. Or other times, it’s your friend who very bluntly tells you to wake up and move on. Or, it’s realizing that it’s 3 AM and you’re crying on the bathroom floor (again) and drunk dialing your best friend (again), except this time, there’s a 12 hr time difference because you’re in China and she’s in NY…

Gosh darn it.

It seems as if after all my soul-searching in Europe, all it really took to send me over the edge, into I-want-a-boyfriend-Land, was some nagging on the part of my family. I could put up with it back in NY. With my mom going on and on about how I wasn’t getting any younger and my dad rolling his eyes next her, the you-need-a-boyfriend converstaion in my parents’ dining room was actually pretty comical. But not anymore.

Here’s the lowdown: My buddy from high school, let’s just call him Eligible  and Compatible Bachelor (“ECB”), decided to visit me in China. We’ve been really close friends since high school, with the exception of senior year when we got into a huge fight over prom, but whatever, water under the bridge now. So of course, I was excited when ECB told me that yes, he will actually visit me in China – 10 days, it’ll be great. Did I think that it would be more than a platonic visit? Eh, a naggy little voice (which sounds very much like my aunt’s) said that it was a possibility. After all, we often joke about how we’re gonna get married etc etc.

ECB knows me pretty well but the poor thing had yet to see me in a bad mood. And boy was I in a bad mood the 3rd day he was here. My parents were calling me from the States, asking about him, whether or not he would make a good husband. HELLO? EXCUSE ME? We’re not even dating. Then the nagging became so overwhelming that I finally snapped. I began thinking, well what if they’re right. What if this is it? I’m not getting any younger, you’re right Mother. He’s eligible and compatible, I should probably lock it down now. So began the start of a 3 day funk, when I started lamenting the loss of Ex-Boyfriend and my loneliness blah blah blah cry me a river and hand me a razor. EMO.

Thank goodness for ECB because that boy did not spare me. ECB called me out on my depressing behavior and just let me have it and you know what, he was so right. 2 years ago, he was just like me, so sad and depressed over his last girlfriend. All he wanted to do was get over it, move on but he couldn’t because he kept on talking about it. And so he told me, you just gotta shut up and do it. Don’t talk about where you’ll be working in 5 years or when you’ll meet Mr. Right. Stop making all these plans. Planning doesn’t get you nearly as far as doing.

ECB had a great point. So apparently, does Nike. Just do it.

But honestly, it’s more easily said than done. Case in point, our trip to Shanghai last weekend. It’s a great city really – a combination of New York, Beijing, and Europe. Truly something special (pictures to come later). The nightlife is great too, lots of bars, clubs and oh blubs (bar clubs). Things were going quite well until yours truly had one too many drinks and the next thing you know, I’m sobbing and asking to talk to my best friend, L. ECB, being the great friend he is, calls up L, long-distance, on his iphone. I proceed to lock myself in the bathroom and cry to L about how I can’t believe I’m still crying over Ex-Boyfriend after ALL. THESE. MONTHS. UGH! I’m actually just sick of it.

So, the wake up call was more a drunk dial. It’s been almost a year since Ex-Boyfriend and I broke up and I’m still crying about it? ECB said, the only way to get over it is to get over it. Let go 100%. And I guess I’ve still been holding on just a tiny bit so it’s time to make the final move and just freakin’ do it.

I wanted to share this with you because these past 10 days with ECB made me realize how often we talk about doing something and how little time we spend actually doing it. Instead of telling everyone about your new healthy diet, just do it. Stop whining about needing a vacation. Just book that flight to Hawaii. Actions speak louder than words and results are even louder. We can’t spend our lives looking nostalgically at the past nor can we spend all day looking forward to the future.

So heed the call, live in the now and most of all,  just freaking do it.

– Mag

Leave a comment

Filed under New York City, Relationships, Travel

Can you have it all part II

My mind has remained on this topic since I last wrote about it and what prompted this new post was a response from one of my closest friends who said that she has pondered this dilemma as well. So I questioned, that change we need to make, well, is THAT even possible? Can the work-family COI reach a resolution?

First, let’s start at the root of the problem. Why does it even exist? Why do we want to attain these seemingly two incompatible goals? I think that maybe this COI is a result of evolution/biology as well as societal pressures. Think about it, in the biological sense, we were made to bear children. How can you not be attached carrying around this baby inside of you for 9 months? We were anatomically made to be mothers first and foremost. So we’re already at a disadvantegeous right there, from the moment we were zygotes.

Next, as we’re growing up, especially the 20-something generation, society is telling us that:
 1. We should have a job. The feminist movement has brought us this far, we would almost be a disappointment if we didn’t grow up to be whatever we could be (i.e. presidents, doctors, astronauts, lawyers) because we can! After all, it’s not like the 1800s or even the 1920s when women in the workplace were looked down on. If a 5 year old girl said in 1920 that she wanted to be Secretary of State, her parents would have said, Sweety, girls don’t do that. You can be First Lady.
2. But at the same time, what does society think of the MIA mother, the mother who’s never at her child’s soccer games, never makes an appearance at PTA meetings, because she’s too busy at work? She’s looked down on by others. She’s irresponsible, putting her career first, instead of tending to her children. Society still believes that
a woman’s primary duty should be her family.

So, we end up trying to attain this “mystical balance” of which my girlfriend spoke because now that we technically, as in legally, can accel right alongside our male counterparts, we feel the pressure to do so. However, in addition to that, society pressures us to be  good mothers and wives and biology reenforces all that. So where does this leave us?

I know I said that we should be the change we want to see but until promotions and work depend less on hours billed and more on efficiency and quality of work, we’re stuck where we are. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Princeton alum or went to WCC, at the end of the day, our actions are still largely dictated by society and our anatomy.

But here’s something else to chew on: What about CEO daddys and the 50 year old male partner at your firm with the 6 year old son? Don’t they suffer as well? Granted it was probably easier for them to reach those positions because they didn’t have to take as much time off as their wives post-birth but afterwards, aren’t they just as likely to be MIA? Perhaps, the biggest problem of all is that these days, especially in America, we live to work instead of work to live. Although this statement doesn’t apply if you really love your job. In that case, maybe we should just ignore what society thinks of us. If you want to work, then work. If you want to stay at home and take care of the kids, then do so. This method may not allow you to have it all (all being career, kids, loving family etc.) but you certainly can have all YOU want.

Still, it all goes back to you being that change. If you don’t want to be judged, then don’t judge others. Don’t assume that the stay-at-home mom married to the millionaire VP is stupid and a gold digger. She probably just wanted to spend time with her kids. There’s no way you would know that she has a degree from Yale hanging up in her study. If you want to work, then when you reach the top, don’t treat the new younger versions of you like you were treated. Just because you had to struggle to reach the top, sacrificing your love life doesn’t mean they should. The bigger picture is about advancing women, as well as society, as a whole.

I’m an optimisti so I think the COI can be resolved, this balance can be attained. Resolutions usually involve compromise and this situation should be no different. It’s not going to be easy and small sacrifices will need to be made but if you’re willing to put in the effort, then yes, I think you can have it all, in one form or another.

– Mag

Leave a comment

Filed under New York City